Gary Martin (2016)

I'm a Sartre existentialist at heart. I am continually observing my shit. I observe the observer. I can't stop those shitty thoughts and emotions but I sure as hell can intervene with them in my actions. I make promises to myself about what I'm going to do and I keep those promises regardless of how I feel/think at the time. I'm constantly breaking up my default shit.

The problem with relationships is that they include people. As soon as you put people into something it starts to become about them, their needs, their wants, their rights. The best we can hope for is that we find someone who agrees with all of out shit so that we can agree on shit. I take an entirely different approach.

We become cemented by certain conclusions we've come to about ourselves, others and life itself. We're all stuck in our own little matrix of bullshit except it's very real for us. There's no experience of, "holy shit the cat just flickered", no it's more like "Life's fckd" or "I'm fckd" or "my job sucks" or some other constant that we get stuck in.

I think people are tired of looking at their life in a fcking lab of concepts and abstractions. What makes a difference (I feel), is when you can make it real and have people inject real change in their lives.

If by success you mean financial then I pay my mortgage, drive a car, have three kids in school, my wife (mostly) likes me. Shit yeah, I'm successful. I've also traveled the world coaching about 20,000 people to live a life beyond their dreams...I'll leave it up to you guys to decide which one you think merits the success tag.

I haven't noticed any diminution of the BS but at the same time, I feel I have gotten pretty damn good at seeing for what it is, sidestepping it and taking the kind of actions that are more aligned with the life I'm after. The deal is, you have a lot of shitty noise in your head, sometimes more than others, it's part of being a human being. If you can manage breathing, eating, making your life work then you can manage the background noise.

So far, yes. It's been remarkable really. I only wanted to produce something that people could pick up, take a look at and say, "fck yeah" and take an action they didn't think they could. No offence but yoga pants, oils and unleashing my inner dolphin just does nothing for me.

Feelings are important, certainly not to be ignored but jeez we have swung the pendulum much too far in the opposite direction. Remember, you're a fcking machine of emotional states that sometimes take you over even though you'd rather they didn't. To then use those states as some kind of compass for your life is...well... uncertain at best.

Firstly thank you for asking the question and buying the book. Yes!! I am currently working on it. It's all about relationships and why we keep fcking them up. Should be out next year.

Thanks. I don't think it overtly clashes with Landmarks approach but there are some differences. I think people, if given time to get over their initial reaction, react best when provoked by something; be it an opinion or theory or point of view. My passion is delivering an idea to someone, "down in the dirt" where they can wrestle with it and have it change their life or their behavior or their results.

I am certainly considering it. For those that do not know me, if you read this to yourself with a Scottish accent you'll get a sense of what I sound like. It's becoming increasingly apparent that people are drawn to the idea of being told to Unfuck themselves by Shrek.