Matthew Perry (2015)

Seems like you, but I'M TYPING FASTER!!!! HOLY CRAP CAN FELIX TYPE FAST. And not just in ALL CAPS. I can type fast in any format. Even numbers. 12345. AND YES, I AM ACTUALLY TYPING ALL OF THIS. It's how I wrote so many shitty movies!

It's a tie between Matthew Perry, and Matthew Perry's stand-in ALEX. Who is an awesome bro.

Obviously it's FRIENDS 2: THE LEGEND OF CHANDLER'S GOLD.

Recently there have been new offers to do this. At some point, it will definitley happen, in a limited run.

Fuck, Fuck, Fuck. I know those aren't the rules, but those are the facts.

Paul F. Tompkins. Stone cold genius.

Just ran the numbers and it SEEMS like Stark. But only because I looked up both of their mansions, and Tony's seems to cost way more than stately Wayne Manor. Also Alfred gets paid less than Pepper. But I'm just going off of tax returns.

Super accurate. I did a ton of plays. And I found out sophomore year that you could take DANCE instead of regular P.E. So I was the only male in a class of a dozen young women who were amazing dancers. It was a good ratio. If you're looking to meet ladies with issues -- stick to the drama and dance departments!! :)

Typo: Matthew meant to say I don't drive him THAT crazy.

First- people treat me quite well when I have the moustache.

Second- I can ask, but I can't promise anything. But I can ask, yes.

This is very accurate. Don't smoke. It's almost impossible to quit.

In today's dollars, it's like 790 dollars. Aw yeah. Don't worry your pretty little head about it. shhhhhhh.

I've seen them at lunch together. This is true.

I just filmed the Comedy Bang Bang tv show, an episode that's all done in 4 shots. Like Birdman.

I think it has to do with all the amazing music we had on the show. It's the same thing that kept THE STATE off of DVD for years. I would love for it to come out. I have all the episodes. If they don't release it at some point, I just sell the DVD's at a Comic Con booth.

I'd create The State, Viva Variety, and Reno 911. But they'd probably all just get cancelled anyway. :(

My pleasure. (Which is what you say when you work at a fancy restaurant instead of "you're welcome.")

He actually wasn't a dick to me. But he made fun of my writing partner's accent, and his tie. The tie was a gift from his dead grandfather, and the accent is his Tennessee accent. So, I had no issue, but it did not go well.

Just saying, I feel like Schwimmer is a solid 7 to my 9, so... obviously Matty can keep his act together around TOTAL DREAMBOATS.

It's basically identical. I lint roll him, he glares at me. Biggest difference is we have the same car.

Sorry, I would love to have time to send a "hi." But these reddits are TIME CONSUMING, so it's best to keep answers short and sweet, and if I wrote a "hi" all the time, it would become a mobius of saying "hi." That said, I can send a GOOD EVENING! or a GUTEN ABEND! OR A BUONA SERA! But apologies if I can't send a "hi." I'm afraid there's just not enough hours in the day. Oh, how I wish there were.

Tom here. I eat a whole mess of egg whites and a pile of beans. It's called "slow carbs." And it's boring as hell.

If I woke up and found out I was Bruce Willis, the first thing I would do is probably whatever model he is dating.

What almost makes us throw up is the amount of Chin Chin and donuts we consume at these get togethers.

Yes. Also I had to give the heimlich manouvre to a massuesse. Yes, so many typos, but I gave a nude heimlich to a Canadian lady.

The writing staff is LEGENDARY, so... we improvise a bit, but the scripts are usually crazy good.

All of the first movie. About 60% of the 2nd movie. Zero of the third movie. I get fired off those movies A LOT. And yes, those are some hot sisters to have.

Tom here. It's awkward because I moonlight for that service. And yes, he has. And then he wanted to "act like we had never met" because it was ruining it for him. But I did an AMAZING job cleaning.

Yes. I got to have Matt LeBlanc show me his brand new, pimped out JAGUAR at the time. It was bad ass.

If you mean the guy in the shorts, yes. If you mean the tall black guy, no.

I wrote a State sketch called "The Little Gnome who Punches People in the Nuts." I would have liked to have done it, but the group nixed it. Probably for good reason.

Being naked with the ferret and Ashley Williams was a pretty fun day at work. A lot of people work in coal mines every day.

Silicon Valley.

It's actually a live action movie. With monsters. But I am the voice of the shipboard computer in Hitchhiker's Guide

Quit Smoking. And Across the Universe.

Spinach pizza at Tomasso's in San Francisco. Very specifically.

Entrecote, Paris. Try the fries. And the steak. Which are the only two things they make.

He was watching "STRANGE COMPATRIOTS!"

One is neat... one is very, very neat!!!

Tom: Portlandia. Silicon Valley. Real Sex.

We did a Viva Variety reunion in San Francisco a few years back. Robin Williams was there, and it was one of the greatest nights of my life. Also my son got to meet Robin, which I just reminded him today. I would love to do one. Nobody remembers that show except for geniuses.

Start a JUG BAND, motherfucker! Everything you need is at the Home Depot. JUG. BAND! Go...

It's odd Matthew is avoiding this question, because I made him my famous "Golden Shower" sandwich recently, which is golden onion rings, wasabe peas, single origin ham, and a gentle shower of Parrano cheese.

Somebody once gave me a Partridge in a Perr tree, and then a bunch of golden rings. Then we broke up.

I feel like we're bringing a lot of ourselves, and a lot of new aspects to the classic characters. I wouldn't have done it otherwise.

365 episodes. Enough that in the future you can watch one every day for a year. Except leap years.

Bob Daly. Emily Cutler. Dan O'Shannon. Tucker Cawley

I was naked for a long time on it so, kind of fun?