Matt Braunger (2015)

Some of us really get into it, shit-talking each other and stuff, but it's all crazy fun. Yes, we prep most of the jokes, but the funniest stuff is off the cuff.

Thank you!

Thanks! Literally the first Q I got was "Who gives a shit?" and it made me howl laughing. I agree with you AND that person. No, not a dead end. Everybody wants to come here (I'm here right now). Haha, they go of their own volition! Look at it this way, LA will fall into the ocean someday. Portland (beloved of God) will not.

Yes! And thanks. My favorite curse is probably cocksucker, because it just sounds so violent, yet it's a description of a wonderful person.

Man, if I had the dough, I would. I DO retain the rights to the name, though. I'll go in for 30%.
Jeez, there are SO many. Good question. Most clubs won't pay for them to fly, BUT I'm trying to start more combo-tours with my pals. Stay tuned, and thanks!

Highlight: probably doing Letterman and getting called over to the couch. Lowlight: Being brought in for a commercial in the early days for the role of "Unattractive Man."

You know how you grow up joking with friends and making each other laugh? Getting to put that stuff on TV. Hands down, that was the best thing.

Thanks! Not really. My ribs, maybe? I probably wouldn't laugh, though. Just yell "Stop!" like a sissy.

Just go up as often as possible and hammer away at the jokes, make them as good as possible. That's about it. Oh, and live life, experience things. God, I wish I had a cooler answer like "take acid and walk into the desert."

That was the best! Thanks for having me!
1. Ha! Portland, but Chicago is a close 2nd.
2. Yes, absolutely.
3. SO much. Yes.

Thanks! Yeah, we only used one of the tapings, rather than cherry-pick from the two. That's because someone shut off the AC so the duck hanging from the ceiling (you'll see) wouldn't blow around. As a result, everybody was hot and tired and I got all sweaty. So the second night we made sure to turn it on and it was a way better show.

We're analytical, and that often leads to sadness. I mean, you break anything down enough you'll get depressed. Also, we're neurotic. Meaning "everything is bad because I've of something I did," which is pretty stupidly egotistical, when you think about it. Also, sheesh, look at us. What a bunch of losers.

Hi! Thanks! I didn't find myself in a weaker position, really, just adjusted my focus a little. If anything, I think I got a little less fake onstage. We all play something of a character doing comedy, I just got a little more real-er. Yes, that's a word. Thanks!

HA! Yes, I loved pissing off my lovely pal Janeane too. Thanks. Good question. I love a lot of the new Joey Bada$$. Mike Eagle is great. Also, what I've heard of the new Action Bronson is spectacular. OH! And I love Vince Staples' "Hell Can Wait" EP.

Correct.

Hahaha oh, he didn't. I just didn't have anywhere else to live. I'd left Chicago en route to LA and had only stopped off in PDX to visit my parents for two weeks. Just goes to show everybody, no matter where you are, it's always dumb to drink and drive!

He recently took a picture of me looking at my phone while we were at an audition together and posted it on twitter with the caption "Look at this dumb gorilla trying to understand how a phone works." He has a gift.

1. I'd like to go back to Spain and not be a filthy backpacker this time. Also, Japan and not be 11.
2. Plenty, but I'll save them for my and Kyle Kinane's acts.
3. Boy, I think the more you learn on your own the better, and it's best not to meet your idols. That said, Don Rickles, how can I also be a jerk for fun and profit?
4. I could see a comedy bubble, but there are plenty of people (including me) who still do it for free and for the love of it. You can't say the same thing about apps.

Hello. I'm 6'4", it's 12 1/2, and my best feature is my magnificently tattooed butt. It's got the cover of Def Leppard's album "Pyromania" on it and it's perfect. My ass, that is.

For sure. WTF, NoSleep, Bill Burr's Monday Morning, Nerdist, Your Mom's House, This American Life, The Crab Feast, offhand.

New one: "How long if I eat your legs? GET TO WORK AND FINISH BY THE END OF TODAY!!"

You got it. I'd pick a neighborhood to booze in, Lakeview, Logan Square, and Pilsen are good ones. My favorite all-around bar is probably Jake's on Clark. Hmm, maybe good whiskey with a can of beer on the side?

Up All Night. I played Gene, who was basically an asshole Ned Flanders.

I've opened for him a couple times in years past, and he's always been supportive. He's a fun dude, and just as weird as he comes off. The special recording was a blast. We did it at the Bell House in Brooklyn.

Anything ridiculous but true, and not sad. Christ, that sounds vague. Guilty pleasures I don't really believe in. If you love it, you love it. Maybe heroin is the only guilty pleasure?

At night.

Pryor, Carlin, Brian Regan, Maria Bamford, Bill Burr, the list goes on and on. Um, wow, Kyle Kinane, Ted Alexandro, Beth Stelling, Kate Berlant, Maria, Burr, Chris Rock. God, so many. It's an embarrassment of riches. Thanks!

Go up as often as possible and give so much less of a crap about worrying about doing what the "industry" says I should do. Also, go see a lot more of the arts rather than watch TV. Also, drink less.

I believe so, yes.

It would have been different, but I would have done it, sure. I loved played that dickhead Gene.

LATE at night, I mean. Like Miles Davis or someone else that's cool.

I had the misfortune of killing the first time I did stand up. That's the worst thing that can happen, because it makes you think it's easy. About the fifth time, I ate. My. Dick. It was so horrible. I introduced the next guy and jumped sideways onto the couch backstage. I felt like I'd been kicked in the balls.

When I was 16 I used to be a security escort outside of a woman's clinic to keep women safe from anti-abortion protestors. Basically, I was a bouncer. My mom and I would do that on Saturday mornings. Thing is, most of them were going in for health screenings and/or free birth control. Such a weird thing. I've tried to write jokes about it, but it's hard to wrap your head around.

Mine, mattbraunger.com, because it's very focused on this idiot I somehow keep alive. But mainly Reddit, because that dummy's on here now.

It's Friday, so you should treat yourself. You've had a big week. Go with a ribeye, some grilled asparagus, and a couple glasses of a good Malbec. Or if you're a vegetarian, a big pan of homemade mac n' cheese with a frisee salad on the side.

I'd already bought two, so I was okay. You gotta have two of the same outfits for tapings. Don't know how Katt Williams does it.

I'm not. My man Ian Karmel is taping his first album at Mississippi, though. You should hit that!

She's a genius!

Thanks!

Thanks! You get to choose what song you'd like to come out to. Before the show I rode down with Paul in the elevator and he said, "Hey. Pixies. Good pick, man."

Was always huge into it, since I was a kid. Low End Theory, 36 Chambers, Bizarre Ride Into the Pharcyde, Long Live the Kane, Amerikkka's Most Wanted, D.O.C's No One Can Do it Better, so many more. I went kinda old school, just off the top of my head. Right now I like the new Joey Bada$$ and Vince Staple's EP.

I just liked the title because it made people laugh when I told them about it. Now because I had a new hour.