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Hi Reddit, I'm a porn performer and Sydney based male escort for women, back after doing an AMA a year ago.
Since then I've worked with many more Australian companies, as well as travelling to Europe to do a porn tour there. I've done everything from a 50 person nightclub orgy to making Feminist porn for Erika Lust from XConfessions.
If you've ever wondered what a male escorts website looks like, check out my site ryan-james.com.au.
I've recently started writing, my first article on pleasing your partner in bed is here.
Ask me anything about male escorting, Australian porn, making porn in Europe or whatever crazy questions you can come up with.
when you watch porn - do you enjoy it or do you criticize/see it from your professional point of view?
It depends on the porn. I generally don't watchvery much anymore. If it's obviously poorly done, poor performances, poor lighting etc. then I won't watch it.
Ok you can't just dangle that out there. Do tell please :)
There's not much to tell. She'd only been with women her entire life but had always wondered what it would be like to be with a guy. I don't think she was that into it (being a lesbian and all), more that it was just something she felt like ticking off her bucket list.
How many koalas have you had sex with? Are YOU the reason they all have chlamydia? Which pays more, escorting or porn?
I petted one once, does that count? I'm pretty sure I'd know if I had an STI - I was tested something like 15 times last year.
A fun fact - if a Koala pees on you there's a chance it will give you Chlamydia.
That's a hard question to answer. Escorting pays per hour, porn per scene. I earn more from the escorting side of things here in Australia. When I was in Europe, the majority came from Porn.
You make a golden point here my friend… So many young men believe that it would be some golden success to become a porn actor/actress (I won't use "star" since that term is thrown around like like a football in the blockbuster film "The Room) , little do these men realize that it's a job and requires work- like any other gig… Of course there are absolutely some lovely perks, but from the individuals I've know that are in the lower to mid tier of the industry, it's not all cotton candy and gumdrops. From what I understand, there is a huge effect on your personal life (As most "Nice ordinary girls" run for the hills once they find out you spend the week making cream pies by jamming slutty buttholes), and also keeping Stretch Armstrong nice and firm isn't always as easy as a snap of the finger… I have read some of you poor fellas even have to put a syringe right into your firehose and inject nuclear boner serum that gives you the golden rod of a thousand gods. Also Isn't it true that although you are able to get down and dirty with your smoldering co-stars, isn't there hot lights and makeup people powdering your nuts while you get your pound on? My point is it sounds like a hell of an interesting job, but I sure couldn't handle it. I believe a lot of guys think it is much simpler than it is… so god bless you.
To be honest I've never understood the negative effect on the personal lives of guys in the industry. Girls I can understand as they have to put up with so much more stigma. It's what you make of it. I know guys in the industry who seem to use working as an excuse for poor success in their personal dating lives.
Do you ever get hired and say "nah I am NOT tapping that?" and give a refund?
No, never. It's a job and I'm a professional. There's only a few things that would stop me from working with someone and that includes rudeness, poor hygiene or poor sexual health.
We always get paid after a shoot is finished as well.
What did you have for breakfast this morning?
I had an English muffin, one half with some delicious natural peanut butter and the other with a healthy smearing of Vegemite.
Very well spoken. You're handsome as well. That's a huge compliment from a lesbian haha. Thank you for taking the time to answer my question. :)
Thanks :) That actually reminds me of the time a middle aged Lesbian decided she would see what all the fuss was about on the other side of the fence. It was an interesting experience.
one of the few guys i really do believe when they say they don't watch that much porn ;-)
I used to be a teenager. Trust me, I've watched my fair share.
I kinda wanna kick her in the butt for that. I mean if you're gonna go for it, give it your all. That's what I'd do lol. Thank you once again for answering. You're very sweet. :)
Well I give her credit for at least trying. It's not something many would try, regardless of sexual preference.
Do you watch your own porn/video's?
Nope. I can't stand watching myself on video. I just wait until other people watch it and ask them what they think.
Worst part about being a porn actor / performer?
Honestly? That in Australia I can't make a career out of it because there isn't enough work. It's hard work sometimes but I love doing it.
I have a few questions :) Is there anything you wouldn't do? If someone asked you your job role what would you say? And as a female who would one day maybe get into the sex industry any tips :D thanks!
There are plenty of things I won't do. Scat, bloodplay, going gay for pay.
A job role as in a job description?
If you're thinking of getting into adult industry I'd say this: Be really REALLY sure it's something you want to do before you start. Depending on what job you do, It's something that will follow you for the rest of your life. You need to be comfortable with that first.
You also need to educate yourself about sexual health, be aware of the risks and what precautions you can take.
Lastly, don't ever do anything you're not comfortable doing. People (men especially) will try to take advantage of you, put you down or trick you into doing things you don't want to do. Remember that all you need to do is say "no" - you don't have to explain your reasons to anyone.
Is there a certain type of person (sorry for the wording) that you would refuse to do a scene with or escort?
The only things that would stop me from working with someone are rudeness, poor personal hygiene or poor sexual health.
Can you teach me that sexy accent? I feel like American girls would like me so much more.
Come to Australia for a holiday and make sure you spend some time out of the cities. You'll go home with a bit of a twang.
Any plans on leaving the kangaroo's behind and move to America or somewhere else ?
I've already spent three months in Europe last year filming porn. I plan on going back there some time. I'd love to work in America but I'd need to sort out a visa first.
How long do you plan on being in the industry? Do you plan on getting married?
As long as people will hire me. I don't always have to do it full time, I can work in the adult industry while at the same time having a "normal" career.
I haven't though much about getting married, although I seriously doubt working in this business would stop me. There are bigger dealbreakers to many girls than being an escort or porn performer.
Just one more question...how were you able to break into straight porn?
I've heard it is difficult for a straight man to get an acting job in straight porn. Gay porn has more money and more opportunities for straight men. And so, some have become gay-for-pay porn stars.
I started working as a topless waiter for hens parties and girls birthdays. I tried stripping once but didn't really like it so decided to put an ad up as an escort instead. After I'd already been in the industry a while I contacted a porn producer and they decided to give me a chance.
It's very hard as a guy to break into the industry. Producers can get dozens of emails from guys every day. Many guys want to do it for the wrong reasons - they think they just get to have sex on camera and that's all there is to it. It really is hard to perform and not everyone can do it.
I don't really know anything about gay porn. I've never done it. If a straight guy wants to do gay porn for the money or because they want to do straight porn then that's their own decision.
So, How did you get into this industry? I mean not why, but actually how (If you want to tell us why feel free too, but I don't want to be intrusive or anything)
I already answered the how but I'll just paste it here:
I started working as a topless waiter for hens parties and girls birthdays. I tried stripping once but didn't really like it so decided to put an ad up as an escort instead. After I'd already been in the industry a while I contacted a porn producer and they decided to give me a chance.
It's very hard as a guy to break into the industry. Producers can get dozens of emails from guys every day. Many guys want to do it for the wrong reasons - they think they just get to have sex on camera and that's all there is to it. It really is hard to perform and not everyone can do it.
I don't really know anything about gay porn. I've never done it. If a straight guy wants to do gay porn for the money or because they want to do straight porn then that's their own decision.
As for the why - why not? I spent years working for various financial institutions. As anyone who works in that industry knows, often you're nothing more than a number. The opportunity to have a go in the adult industry presented itself, initially I thought it would just be a short stint that wouldn't go anywhere. It turned out to be a career path I really enjoy for a whole number of reasons.
Have you met Angela White?
Any plans to work with her in the future?
I've never met her, although I've seen her around before at Australia's adult awards night or when we've both been working at Sexpo.
I would work with her if I had the opportunity, she's a very talented and professional performer. However from what I can gather she only works in America with American performers.
How much do you bench?
Not as much as I'd like
Do you ever get days where you wish you had never stated? Like do you ever feel you made a bad decision getting into this kind of work? Im sure everyone does to some degree with their career but you show your face and stuff yeah? Are you not worried about having kids and then finding you in porn? Have you found it difficult to maintain relationship? What are your other interests.. What would you like to do in your future?
Not really, no. I have zero problems with the job I do. If other people have a problem with it that's their business, not mine. A common them when people think about sex workers is that the work is degrading. I've never felt degraded in this line of work. If anything, working in an office is degrading.
I'm not worried about anyone in my life finding out. I don't have a problem telling people what I do.
I've had relationships while I've been working. They all ended for reasons unrelated to me working. I'm still good friends with some of the girls I've dated since starting this job.
I'm a bit of a gamer, I built my first gaming PC when I was 14 and haven't looked back. I like to read a lot, mainly sci-fi or fantasy stuff. I usually go to the gym 3-5 times a week and have competed in powerlifting in the past, although I have a back injury at the moment which is a bit of a hindrance. I watch a lot of movies and tv shows in my downtime, Marvel movies and DC shows being my favourite at the moment. I have a motorbike and enjoy going on rides on some of the fantastic roads around Sydney.
In future, I'd like to see where my career takes me first. I have plenty of other options if for any reason I want to give this up. I'd also like to study and possibly do some sex worker advocacy work in some form of another. Being a straight guy in this industry means I don't have to deal with anywhere near as much stigma as others. I do get to see and hear a lot of it though and some of it is downright disgusting and disturbing. Just a few days ago a sex worker in Adelaide was murdered. All the media could seem to focus on was the fact she was a sex worker.
Oh sorry I didn't mean to sound as if I was degrading you... I'm just really interested in what you do and generally interested if you ever had regrets
sex worker was murdered? That is so terrible... How did everyone in the industry react to that? How did that make you feel aswell? Some sick ppl out there! Media sounds no better
Good for you with advocacy work... I hope you make some changes
I didn't think you were.
The reaction amongst sex workers has been as you'd expect - that it's a terrible thing to happen and that the media has done a terrible job of reporting it.
Being an escort, how do you manage situations where your clients are not sexually actrative to you? I heard some female escorts choose their clients, do you do the same?
I don't pick and choose my clients, it's a job so I'll see any woman.
Wtf?
I'm pretty sure I put something on Twitter about Koalas having Chlamydia and they saw it.
how can you go out with a woman you dont like?i know yes the money...but...do you ever feel sad?
Who says I don't like them? I may not want to date my clients but that doesn't mean I don't like them as a person. Why would I feel sad?
whats in your pc rig right now? also do you prefer AMD or nvidia for GPUs?
For various reasons I had to get a laptop insteas of a PC. I settled on an Alienware M18x and managed to find a nearly new refurbished model for half the price of brand new. I know there's a lot of Alienware hate on Reddit but it's been fantastic for me. Still going strong after three years.
From memory the cpu us a 2960xm and gpus are 2 580m carda in SLI. I used to be an AMD fanboy, these days I'm not too bothered as long as it runs whatever games I want to play.
What's the biggest budget you have ever worked with?
I've never been involved in the production side of things so I couldn't give exact figures.
However, as I said above I was in a 50 person nightclub orgy in Prague. The amount of planning, people involved behind the scenes, production crew etc. would have been huge.
You are so lucky. You get paid to have sex with the most beautiful women in porn. I don't know which is luckier - a porn star or a billionaire.
My question is...how do you develop so much stamina to have sex with so many women? Doesn't your thing get tired?
Practice :)
My "thing" doesn't get tired but I do. It's like any other job, if you're at work you just keep going until you finish.
Both description and role. A friend of mine is a female escort and she will only tell close friends she is an escort anyone else she will say an assistant or something of that sort. I have thought about it that when I am older and settled down will I still want it behind but this I am still thinking about but it is something I would love to get into. Also another question do your partners ever have a problem with your job?
Well the porn one is pretty simple. I have sex on camera. :)
Escorting is a little less straightforward. I'd say my job as an escort would be to spend time with clients and provide them a range of services.
What it boils down to is spending time with someone and paying attention to her needs - sexual or otherwise. A lot of the time women see me not just because they want sex, although more often than not it's part of it.
I see some clients who haven't had anyone pay attention to them in a long time. Having someone make you feel special and desirable is something you don't realise how much you need until you're not getting it.
Other times it's just to fulfil a particular fantasy that for whatever reason they can't do outside of seeing an escort. Maybe they have a partner who won't or can't do what they want. Maybe trying to find someone to give them what they want in the dating world is way too much time and effort. Maybe seeing an escort is just another item to tick off their bucket list.
If you're in Australia I could give you more general advice on getting into escorting. If you're overseas I don't really know all that much as each country is different.
I've had partners in the past when I've been doing this job. I find open communication works wonders when it comes to having a healthy relationship. It helps that the kind of girl I'm attracted to is also the kind of girl that wouldn't have a problem with me working. It's not like I'm going to be dating a fundamentalist Christian anytime soon.
Do Australians really think that American accents are sexy?
It's going to depend on the Australian and which American accent, isn't it?
