David Burd, better known by his stage name Lil Dicky, is an American rapper and comedian. He came to prominence with the YouTube release of the music video to his song "Ex-Boyfriend", which went viral with more than 1 million views in 24 hours.
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Alritey gang, I gotta get back to the studio. We've been doing this since 9 AM, my fingers hurt.
Thank you SO MUCH for your continued support. Reddit has played such a big role in launching my career, you guys are clearly pulling for me, and your support is what's getting so many of these eyes on my material.
I remember the first day I put something online as Lil Dicky. It was Ex-Boyfriend. With nothing behind it, within 3 hours, it was on the front page of reddit, and my friends were going crazy. I wasn't too familiar with reddit so I didnt know what it meant really, but when I woke up the next day and that video got a million views overnight, it meant everything.
I had been working harder leading up to that day than I had ever worked in my life. My friends thought I was going insane. I had an idea about what I could be, and I honestly think I was the only one who fully believed in it.
And for you guys to gang together, and show me that you all believed in it too, on the very first day I put myself out there EVER, it was a truly life changing event. And instant validation. And it gave me immediate confidence to keep doing what I was doing, and now we're here.
So thank you from the bottom of my heart, you guys will always be the community that found me. Let's definitely do this again sometime, I'd love nothing more than to describe my penile dimensions to those that may have missed it. And maybe they'll be different in a few months. This was fun.
Professional Rapper drops early 2015. Let's have ourselves a year.
Would you say that being a rapper has had any impact on how you relate to animals on an emotional level? If so how?
I have no idea what you're talking about, but I like you.
How big is your actual dick? Talking in terms of girth and length
Length - 5 inches, max. On its best day. I did some research back in the day, that would put me in the 10th percentile in America - but I believe 5.25 inches is the 50th percentile. So, when you say 10th percentile, it looks terrible, but when you think about how it's only a quarter of an inch away from the industry standard, it's easier to swallow.
Girth - I have rock solid girth. Great girth even. That's the key to me surviving out here. I don't know the exact dimensions, but back when I was researching this stuff, I tied a string around my boner and measured the circumference and learned that I was 90th percentile in terms of girth.
So 10th length, 90th girth, that puts me somewhere in the middle of America. I used to be really self conscious about it growing up, but in my young adult years, I've found it to be completely capable of creating the female orgasm. It's just a bit limiting positionally.
Dickory, this is the question we all came for. If you were to have a threesome that was 2m and 1f, who would be the other male?
What a good question.
Immediately, my mind went to guys I think are super good looking, like Ryan Reynolds, Ryan Gosling, etc. Then, I realized how a) gay of a thought process that is (not that there's anything wrong with that) and b) how inadequate I would feel in that threesome.
So, someone a bit uglier, a bit less threatening makes more sense. I think Jonah Hill would be a good guy to do it with. He'd make some jokes, his dick probably sucks, and it would be fun.
Mr. Lil Dicky,
Do you think that Reddit has had any sort of impact on your career? I first came into contact with your work when Ex-Boyfriend was on the front page last year.
100 percent. I think the community has really embraced me, and it's such a vehicle to get eyes on your stuff. Essentially, redditors have been pioneers for my movement.
And ex-boyfriend blowing up was due to reddit, and that happened on my first day on the internet as a rapper, and was easily the most important domino to fall right for me.
Hey Firm Handshake! Thanks for taking the time to stop by. I'm a huge fan here, and I can say with confidence you're my favorite rapper. I was just wondering if you wouldn't mind answering a couple questions, and maybe saying "Ay gurl."
I hope you have an awesome time here, and thanks again for stopping by.
PS I have a huge crush on you, so just lemme freak.
AY GURL LEMME FREAK RIGHT BACK AT YOU I GOT NO PROSPECTS RIGHT NOW LEMME GET A PHOTO AT THE MINIMUM RIGHT?
My favorite music video to make was Ex-Boyfriend. I just knew how perfect and true to my vision everything would be once I saw that guy and that girl. So as soon as I saw them, I sighed a big sigh of relief, and had fun making it.
Marvel - I'm actually an X man.
I have never hooked up with a redhead but I would love to. A part of me sees my wife as a gorgeous strawberry blonde chick.
I hope soon! I just go where I'm told by my agency, but I imagine it's a must that I go at some point in my career.
sup yung dick,
what's the strangest encounter you've experienced from tinder?
I've fallen in love with a few different Bots, by accident.
Like, reasonably long conversations.
Do you ever bang those girls in your videos? Especially in Ex-boyfriend and Lemme Freak.
No, I never do, and I always fall in love. It's never an option, from what I can tell.
how many times do you get a boner when you're fake banging one of those chicks in your videos?
Every time. i make sure a pillow is in house, and between her vagina, and my penis. I have a pretty unobtrusive boner, but still - it's weird.
Young man stops being true at some point.
Lil Dicky is probably forever.
damn. that's so painfully true.
You and dirt nasty are in a hug fight, who gets the first boner?
Just kidding, I know it's you.
It's me, he's better looking
Whats the best way to wipe your butt? I gotta know my friends think I'm crazy for standing up then wiping.
I can't sit up here all high and mighty and presume to know the best way.
I will say, I too stand up. What the fuck do people do when they sit down?? Do they go between their legs, like past the grundle like goddamn cavemen?
It's that, or like, half standing/leaning to get in from a side angle, which seems more difficult than standing. Like, crouching is way harder than standing tall.
Do you jerk off mobily?
What is one fetish you don't understand?
the one where people dress up in animal mascot costumes. furries or whatever? I forget what it's called. I just hate sweating when I'm having sex, and it seems like that's a guarantee when you're in a huge suit.
Exactly how Jewish are you?
I'm not religious in the slightest. I was raised reform (and believe in the value of taking part in the religion from a family bonding, cultural perspective), got a Bar Mitzvah (never actually believed in the stories within judaism) then was out of the game.
But I am very culturally jewish I suppose. If that makes sense. Like, I just act a certain way. Maybe it has to do with being jewish, maybe it doesn't.
I think I've misrepresented myself/overbranded myself thus far on my level of jewishness, and I really don't know why I did that. Like, why am I in the center of a flaming jewish star on my mixtape cover (actually it was because I had no cooler image to use).
Looking back on things is weird, I feel like the guy making the decisions on So Hard isn't necessarily the guy talking to you right now.
If you had to pic the body of any other rapper to have as your own, who would it be, and why would it be Rick Ross?
It wouldn't be Rick Ross, only because I'd worry about heart issues - no disrespect to Ross. I know he's out there losing weight, but I wanna live until I'm like, 96.
It would probably be DMX. Dude's body is dope.
Dicky. I was at the New Orleans show. After you did Lemme Freak, the blonde girl on stage clearly wanted to smash. It seemed like you "encouraged" her off the stage. Why did you not hit that homie?
I don't know, I need to mentally connect with/respect a girl before hooking up with her. So the idea of a girl not knowing me at all, yet throwing herself at me, is kind of bizarre, and ultimately a turn off that I haven't yet been able to get past.
Where do you see yourself in 30 years?
Man, hopefully in deep, deep love.
I'm crazy ambitious, and have a lot of boxes to check in terms of my own personal fulfillment from a career/i've done the best I can perspective.
But that's only half of what will provide me happiness. The other half will be finding my dream wife, and starting a family with her.
I'm a slave to my ambition, and I need my wife to save me at some point. She's the only one who can save me.
Mr Leftward Sloping Penis
Thanks for doing the AMA! I loved So Hard and I'm happily anticipating Professional Rapper.
My question is with the rise of "comical" hip hop in the last 5 years (Reggie Watts, Lonely Island, etc) where do you think the future of hip hop is (perhaps studio produced and traditional distribution vs home produced and distributed)and what kind of effect do artists in your situation have on the industry at large?
For a less serious question why do all your videos get me hot and bothered?
I think the artist just has more control now than ever. The evolution of music, along with the industry, is leading to a place where artists can really be exactly who they want to be, without worrying about appeasing higher ups at a label for example, because labels are no longer critical for success.
So I think the future of hip hop isn't just about comedy, it's about weirdness in general. For so long, rap has been a certain type of way, and now more than ever, it's actually looked at as cool to be your own person.
My videos probably get you all hot and bothered because I tend to have scantily clad video girls running amuck in their panties. Although, maybe you're a girl. And my videos get you hot and bothered because I myself am learning how to dress, style my hair, and be the most physically attractive I can be, right now. Like, I think i'm peaking, right now. Physically.
Mentally, I was the funniest I ever was in 8th grade - you can ask anyone. I was so much braver.
Whattup Yung Dick! Huge fan since your earliest videos here. What's the funniest experience you've ever had with a girl, in Tinder or in real life? Club Night comes to mind. PS: when's the best time for me to work you in 2k?
Umm. Man. There are a lot. One time, this girl was coming over to have sex with me. To avoid premature ejaculation, I jerked off 5 minutes before she came. Take note. That's 1.
She comes in, we are in my bed, kissing, naked rolling around. Simply rolling around. And I came again. That was like 20 minutes after I jerked off. That's 2.
Obviously, I didn't let want her to know I came during the foreplay, so I just kind of came on my own mattress, then immediately flipped the angle of our bodies in a way that my stomach rubbed against the semen so she wouldn't find out. It worked.
So in her mind, I haven't even cum yet. She starts giving me head. I somehow cum in like 20 seconds. I have no idea how. That was my third ejaculation of the past 22 minutes.
She wasn't expecting me to just cum either, she wanted to have sex. So I was like, no no, it's okay. I can still have sex. And we had sex twice, and I came twice, over the next 40 minutes.
Allow me to do the math. I came 5 times in an hour. I don't think I could do that today, the 20 year old version of me was either way hornier, or had a way quicker turnaround period.
What are your feelings on Mrs. Berta Lovejoy?
Why you cryin'?
EDIT: Fuck Berta
It appears I got trolled :/
I knew that the person was simply trying to get a rise out of me, but I love arguing, and I hate people thinking I'm anti-women. So I wanted to publicly defend that stance.
Do you ever ride the bus and jot down lyrics like Eminem in 8 mile?
LD doesn't ride no goddamn bus.
Just kidding (well, I don't though, I use lyft.) But no. I just jot down funny things all the time. My note pad is more like a comedian's notepad.
According to MedicalNewsToday.com’s article titled “What is the Average Penis Size?” the mean male (erect) penis length is 5.1 inches. Now, in your new single, you state “Then I drive wild very fucking high by everybody while my lady licking my five inch dick.” However, your name, “Lil Dicky”, suggests that your penis is in fact below average. The statistics say otherwise. Why are you giving men unrealistic standards by which they are basing their genitalia on? What if someone (hypothetically of course) has a 4 inch penis, and he learns that his member is even smaller than a “lil dick”, when in reality it is only slightly smaller than the average? I think if you were completely dedicated to your art you would chop at least an inch or two off in order for it to qualify as a lil dick. It’s only fair.
I'm hyped as tigger on speed for the album by the way.
edit: a word
my soft dick sucks. It hasn't grown since I was like, 8.
LD, I'm a huge fan. Russel Westbrook as a song has legitimately made me think about my own life and whether I want to follow the "plan of practicality" that everyone expects of me. Would you advise others to explore completely different careers like you have? Do you have any regrets?
I certainly advise people to go after whatever makes them happy, absolutely. Circumstances are always different though. It may not be easy for someone to just drop a job and go for it.
That's why I'm a proponent of using all of your spare time towards achieving your dreams, while using your 9-5 time to stay afloat/practical.
I'm certainly a dreamer, but logic and reasoning are my gods. So, just going for it at the expense of everything can be a bit reckless. If you want something bad enough, the key is to figure out a way to get it without throwing everything else down the drain should that not work out for you.
I definitely think people should be cognizant that we only live one life though, and rather than doing things the way society would tell us to, it's totally fair to live it with your own personal happiness at the forefront of your decision making process.
Hey LD. You're lion king rap is seriously great. Any more film inspired raps like that coming soon?
Thank you! I appreciate that.
I'm going to disappoint you though...because the answer, is no :(
Why, you ask...why?
Well. I'm trying to become the rapper I want to be, and that rapper makes my favorite kind of music. So things that are a bit gimmicky, like the lion king, or sports for example, aren't necessarily things my current rap inner spirit animal is interested in.
I started this thinking it was just to get noticed for being funny, not to become a rapper. But now that I've learned I'm in the rap game for the long haul, I have a serious ambition to make music on the level of my favorite rappers. And those guys aren't rapping 5 minute verses about disney movies. Not that I care what other people are doing, but I myself don't even value that type of music, as a fan of music.
As a fan of comedy, yes, I value it. But now more than ever, I'm letting LD represent me as strictly musically as he can, while Dave takes over the comedy side via other mediums (like I'm working on writing a TV show).
Sometimes I refer to myself in the third person like I just did, but I don't think it makes me a bad guy.
Why did you choose the stage name 'Lil Dicky'? Any specific reason?
It randomly came into my head the first day I got my macbook pro and began rapping. I thought it was funny, obviously playing off other rappers' Lil's, but putting my own ridiculous twist on it.
Then, when I decided I was going to pursue this for real for real, I made a word document with tons of names - but none of them beat Lil Dicky.
I like it because it really encapsulates what I stand for as a rapper. It's kind of the antithesis of the traditional rap mindset of hyper-masculinity, acting like you are cooler than everyone, etc. Like, I've literally heard rappers brag about how big their dicks are. I find that state of thinking to be a bit archaic. So I wanted my name to reflect the parodying of such behavior.
Truthfully, I can't wait for the day where every rapper/fan has to be like yeahhhh, Lil Dicky is dope. Making everyone that initially squirms at my name have to say it when listing the best out is certainly a personal goal of mine.
A part of me wishes I went with Young Man though. Young Man would have been hard.
Dick, How many NBA jerseys do you own?
Couldn't tell you NBA specifically, but overall I've got like 54.
Who are the top 3 people you want to collab with?
Where did you get the idea for Russell Westbrook on a Farm? That song is something else.
Can I pay you for a download of all the Hump Days songs?
Top 3 people I want to collab with, in no particular order:
Where did I get the idea for RWOAF?
I was actually in a text message convo with my best friend, where we were debating the upside of my rap career. This was about a month before I put the song out. My friend tries to keep my expectations tempered to some extent - but I was explaining to him how big I think this rap stuff is going to be, because I uncovered this talent that I didn't even know I had.
In the text convo, I remember saying, I honestly feel like LeBron, if he never played basketball and grew up on a farm or something, then one day in his mid twenties found a basketball court and saw what he was.
LeBron felt like too bold for the analogy though, I wanted to go with someone young, hungry and ferocious. So I went with Russ.
No, you can't pay for the hump day songs, they are all free on lildicky.com so go get them and enjoy. I'll charge you for stuff over the next decade, don't you worry ;)
DAVE!!! I love your music. Saw ex-boyfriend on facebook when it came out and I loved it. Have been a big fan ever since.
I started rapping more seriously because of you, and your music is inspiration for me. My question is: how can someone starting out as a rapper develop better writing skills and lyrics?
Just keep doing it. It works like a sport, the more you do it, the better you get. The stuff I was making leading up to So Hard was dogshit. Nobody would have cared. But I kept at it, and got better and better, and now I'm at a level I never thought I could be at.
Also - it's really helpful to have a couple of friends that you can send stuff to, and get their honest feedback. My process hasn't changed since I started. I make a song, send it to two of my best friends, and they are in complete control on whether or not it sees the light of day.
They're always honest, tell me what they like, what they don't like, and everything gets better as a result. Just make sure you respect their musical tastes, and know that they will be unquestionably honest with you at all times.
Unobtrusive Boner would be a great band name
goddamn so true.
Finally! Hi Lil Dicky. I'm a big fan. My boyfriend and I like to play your videos (especially White Dude) over and over until our roommates' ears bleed. My question to you is when are you coming to VA so I can take you to Dickey's BBQ? It used to be a CiCi's Pizza and my heart aches for the friendly "WELCOME TO CICI'S" that greeted me yesteryear. I can still hear the faint echo of it in the walls. But I digress. Taco pizza may be gone forever but when Lil Dicky comes to town, it's a damn good day to be a BBQ joint called Dickey's.
PS: The rest of the food's kinda shitty but their fried okra is off the chain.
Edit: Just noticed you're doing an AMA at the same time as YouPorn. How does that make you feel?
It makes me feel like I'm in great company, and am clearly thinking the right way. If my brain is aligned with the brains over there at youporn (which is a company that owns a lot of the best streaming porn sites on the web, mind you) - I'm clearly doing something right.
What did you do before the success of "Ex-Boyfriend"?
I worked at an advertising agency. I was a copywriter, wrote commercials. Here's one I made.
Picked the clip, music, wrote the words.
The lie was "I'm not gay" huh?
I've never tried 'Ye
Yo dicky! I recent got my dorm hooked on you after my friend had an experience identical to Too High. My question is what has been your favorite thing that has come out of you being famous/in the rap game?
To be honest, there hasn't been a lot of crazy perks to come along with it yet. I'm at such a minimal level of fame to where my life doesn't feel too different.
My favorite part is easily the fact that I get to do what I want to do, in life, for a living. Simple as that. I no longer have a boss, I no longer feel like I'm wasting years doing something I'm not insanely passionate about. I wake up every day with this subconscious feeling of supreme satisfaction that I am doing exactly what I want to do in life. And coming out of corporate america, I know not to take that for granted, and know how fortunate I am for working towards that.
Dicky, you are stranded on a desert island with a mermaid willing to do anything you want. Do you want her to be top half fish or bottom half?
This is my favorite question of the day.
Obviously the top half needs to be human, I need to fall in love. I'm a face guy first and foremost. A pussy is just a weird hole if it's just below a fish. Even if it is a pussy.
Hey Mr. leftward sloping penis, thanks for doing this AMA! How much of David Burd exists in Lil Dicky? Is Lil Dicky a completely fictional character, or does he represent a part of your personality? Did you ever experiment with different perspectives in your writing?
Also, I thought you should know that “Lemme Freak” is on my sex playlist and it works really well!?
I think a lot of David Burd exists in Lil Dicky. I would say Lil Dicky is a place where the joke is truly allowed to be put first, in front of all social norms/conventions.
If something is deemed funny by a large section of people, I think that is complete art, no matter who it offends, how inappropriate it is, etc. If someone can create something based around our society and get a subsection of our society to resonate with that, and laugh at it, I view it as an achievement.
So Lil Dicky is kind of my medium to put the joke first, and not worry about offending anyone. Dave can't really just do whatever he pleases, because he lives in this society. Lil Dicky can though. So it's kind of my most unfiltered version of myself. I never have Dicky do shit I don't in turn agree with or stand for. And I think there are times I'm writing it as Dave too, I don't know that it's even a character at this point. It's just more or less a rap spirit animal.
That's awesome about Lemme Freak being on your sex playlist, I actually can't have sex to music without feeling like I'm in a cliche movie or something.
hey dave! I met you in NYC and gave you directions to penn station - shame we didn't get to chat then but did you get your train in the end!?
HOMIE! I owe you big time. I have such vivid memories of that. Are you british? I made the train, by like 45 seconds. Had I not met you that day, I don't make train. Then who knows what the butterfly effect of such a thing could be. I could be in jail by now if that alternate reality ended up taking shape.
How good would you say you are at making a smooth, well sculpted paper mache? Just like 1-10?
Yo Lil Dicky! Fellow Cheltonian here....did you play JJBL growing up? Also, do you miss Cheltenham/how did it at all affect who you are today?
Bruh, you're talking to a 3 time champion, back to back MVP of the alumni league, big shot making, all time greats. I would be in the hall of fame.
I do miss cheltenham, and it impacted me in every which way as a person. Beyond that, it impacted me as a rapper. No way my ebonics are as on point without coming up in CHS.
Ay dicky what's up boi?
But seriously. You're ridiculously relatable in your demeanor and a lot of your songs. The interviews I've seen of you and your style generally show you as an ordinary dude who's obvious ridiculous on the mic.
My question for you is how have you managed your personal life with all this success that's been happening recently? Have you been able to keep in touch? It seems to have blown up so quickly, I was just curious how you'd manage to keep your friends with you and whatnot, considering.
Also, every time I try to order a Fuck Hitler shirt, you're sold out. Come do a show at the Orange Peel in Asheville, NC so I can buy one at the merch booth. :)
Sorry about the fuck hitler shirt, it should be available now.
To be honest, I've kind of just given away my personal life completely since I started working on this stuff. So before it was even out, or successful, the sheer amount of time and energy it takes to create this stuff doesn't allow for that much else.
So I lost my girlfriend, don't get to go home as much, don't have much of as social life in LA...but it's completely what I expected to happen, and I've been mentally prepared for such a thing my whole life.
I've always known a day would come where I'd have to be completely selfish and live only for myself, and I'm happy now that I have such a cool excuse to do so.
The key is to just remain myself, and remember that there is in fact more to life than this shit. It is being put on hold for now, but as long as I remember to get back to reality by like, age 32, I'll be straight.
Do you agree with the route the Sixers are going? Do you hate Ruben Amaro Jr as much as us? Wheres your go to spot of Cheesesteaks when you're back in the area?
Wholeheartedly agree. Love it. We would have been sitting in mediocrity forever had we gone about our usual business. Post Iverson, it was the same thing for the last decade. Average, to below average, but not bad enough. And in the NBA, talent reigns supreme. So you just have to suck to get a shot at talent. I'm fully on board, Sam Hinkie is that dude.
I don't hate Ruben as much as you, but in fairness, since I moved to the west coast in 2010, my phillies knowledge has dipped exponentially. It's hard to stay up with things when they're playing every day at 4 pm, and you're at work and can't watch.
When it comes to the Phillies - I'm just always appreciate of 2008, because as a sports fan, that's my only chip.
Steve's Steaks. Pat's is dope too, but too much of a shlep for me.
Have you ever attempted to beat off with hot sauce, jerked off with your jeans on, or met someone grimey as a gooch?
I'm personally as grimy as a gooch, I have actually jerked off with my jeans on for sure (one time I was in school, and just unfairly horny, and it was 8th period, and my student teacher was hot, so I put my arms in my shirt like I was cold and just jerked off with my jeans on).